There are so many ways to make your wedding party feel appreciated and oh-so-adored throughout your engagement, into your wedding weekend, and long after (because, let’s be honest, you’ll totally live for all the occasions where you can send each of them a new favorite #BFFsontheBDE pic from your wedding). But what about the other very important people in your life? Your parents, grandparents, godparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. etc. Not every family member has to be in your official “I do” squad, and they certainly don’t want you to feel any pressure to include them, either! They’re just very excited to see you get engaged and — we’re sure — they just cannot wait for your wedding day.
We’ve cautioned this many times before, and we’re not changing our tune anytime soon. When you get engaged, don’t let extended family members and close friends find out through Facebook or through a very convoluted family phone chain. Instead, give them a quick call to fill them in or even send a brief, but thoughtful (and definitely direct, not via a group chat) text message that says “Yay!! So excited to tell you that I’m engaged. I can’t wait to go on this journey, and I hope you’ll be along for the ride!!”
Okay, so maybe not the bachelorette bash, if you know it’ll only make things awkward to have your grandma in attendance or you know your little cousin will be feeling ALL kinds of left out for Under 21 festivities. We’re talking about the engagement party, the wedding shower, the bridal luncheon (if you choose to have one), perhaps even the rehearsal dinner reception.
There’s definitely a line, too, that family members, friends, even close colleagues won’t cross when they know you have a wedding party and fully respect that they’re not in it. No one wants to dole out unsolicited advice or overstep boundaries if they feel it’s not their place, but you could very well have VIPs who’d be a tremendous help in your wedding planning process or big day preparations themselves. So, our advice? Reach out, ask questions, commission your creative cohorts to flex their own talents (be it in calligraphy, floral arranging, musicality, epicurean pursuits, etc.). Not even kidding, they’ll feel so touched that you thought of them and wanted them to play a role in your perfect day.
If your love language is gift giving, you can have a lot of fun with personalized gifts over the duration of your engagement OR curate personal and intentional moments during your wedding day itself. When your guests, the family and friends who might not be in your wedding party, but who you still consider true MVPs, see that you’ve gone above and beyond to let them know you care, they’ll get so many feels (plus, they might just walk away with a memento/takeaway that’s a smidge better than the one the rest of your guests will get… #sorrynotsorry 😉).
It’s YOUR day, of course, but you can still show your favorites (fam and friends) some love that they’ll hold onto for the long haul!