We’ve all been there; the moment you undergo a major life change people suddenly come out of the woodwork and are convinced that your personal business is headline news. While it is encouraging to feel supported and cared for, the line to invasive and pushy can easily be crossed. From the moment you get engaged the story is generally the very same.
Today we’re sharing some tips and sample responses to help you handle those pesky and invasive wedding planning questions with grace and patience.
Why do you want to get married so young?
This question is likely coming from a well-intentioned, but over-involved, person who perceives themselves to be older and wiser. At the end of the day, this is your life and the timeline matters to no one but you and your partner. Feel free to simply dodge the question and let them know you’re thrilled you found someone you love and are excited to get married.
Are you sure you’re ready?
Most likely, a question like this is a projection of the inquiring person’s personal fears about their readiness for marriage and commitment. To leave no room for debate simply exude confidence and say, “Absolutely! We’re both very much in love and excited to start the next chapter together.”
Is that the ring you wanted?
This may be a snide way of saying they think the ring is too small, too gaudy, or simply not their style. Whatever the case, a comment like this is likely an outlet for jealousy over the fact that you’ve been proposed to and are enjoying an exciting season of engagement. While it is certainly your right to show off the ring your partner just gave you, if the conversation is giving you negative vibes, feel free to steer the conversation away from the ring and towards your elation about your relationship and engagement.
Who’s paying for all this?
This question tops the list of bad etiquette, yet people seem to keep asking it. Maybe they’re surprised by the nice details you’re including in the wedding, or they could be wondering how your parents are affording to host the wedding you’re planning. Either way, their question is not one you have to answer unless you want to. Simply let them know that information is between you and your partner and that you would rather not share.
Am I going to be invited to the wedding?
While this question may be tactless, you’re sure to encounter it from an excited distant cousin or nosy co-worker. While there isn’t much subtext to decipher with this question, it is tricky to navigate how to answer them. It is better to not prolong giving them an answer by responding with a vague comment about not having finalized the guest list. Instead, be honest with them. If they’re not invited, let them know you’re sticking to a tight budget and that you are your fiancé have had to make some tough choices with who to invite. Graciously thank them for their enthusiasm but don’t feel the need to placate them with a lot of half-hearted excuses about your guest list.
When are you going to have kids?
After people have started asking about your current life developments they are always so eager to move on to what they perceive as your next suggested life stage. Curiosity about baby plans is natural, but their blunt openness is certainly tricky to navigate. Even if you and your partner have a clear plan or timeline in mind, feel free to be vague in your response to this question. Let them know you’re taking things one step at a time and are excited for the wedding, but you look forward to being parents one day.
While we hope you don’t have to field many of these questions, you may, unfortunately, encounter a few of them. Hopefully, now you’ll be a bit better prepared to answer with grace and ease! Remember to not let nosy questions get you down and take time to enjoy the excitement of your engagement!
Style Me Pretty Contributor – Hannah Nowack is a freelance writer, calligrapher, and event designer living in Atlanta, Georgia. When she isn’t working, you will find her decorating her Danish Modern-inspired apartment, frequenting the gourmet cheese counter, or enjoying a glass of Cabernet with friends.