The Struggles of Being a Long-Distance Bridesmaid

At the beginning of 2017, I moved to Melbourne to pursue my MBA, and to be closer to my New Zealand-based partner. Also in 2017, my two best childhood friends were proposed to and are now currently engaged and planning weddings. Now, I have been waiting for this day since we were about 7 years old, and now that the time has finally come for me to step up as MOH and Bridesmaid of the decade, I live across the planet. The universe is a cruel joke sometimes.

However, if anyone was going to be able to smash being a long-distance bridesmaid, it’s me, right? Surely working in the wedding industry for the past five years will have paid off in knowledge, skills and stamina! But being so long-distance has its natural drawbacks of course, and requires a lot more commitment from both parties.

Initial Thoughts

I remember getting the first call from a frazzled, squealing bestie, and I knew even before she told me.

“You’re engaged!!”

It wasn’t out of the blue, they were definitely headed in that direction, but at the same time my heart sank.

I wasn’t there.

The second time I received a text from one friend that the other was desperately trying to reach me. So I gave her a call. And once again, I knew before she said anything.

He proposed!

But by this point, I had been gone nearly a year, and I hadn’t even met him. This girl and I hadn’t been apart for more than two weeks before we went away to college. And now I hadn’t even met the man she was going to marry. And I just wasn’t there.

I wasn’t there to help the guys pick out rings. I wasn’t there to take sneaky photos of the proposal. I didn’t get to know it was happening before she did. I had to hear about it all later, second hand, and I didn’t get to hug them and jump around, like I always thought that we would.

What now?

But, I knew that this is what happens when you move away. I chose to leave; therefore I would have to be comfortable dealing with the distance. It’s their lives, and we’re not in high school anymore. We can’t wait to do things until our best friend is around to experience it with us. And it doesn’t make it any less special!

I’ve still been asked to be a bridesmaid in both weddings, and I intend to contribute as much as I can to the planning process even though I’m far. For example, I’m in the midst of assembling shared Pinterest boards for decor, flowers, bridesmaids, and wedding dresses. I’ve helped in answering questions about dress decisions, alterations, timelines and venues. I’ve arranged my travel so that I’ll be able to handle a bachelorette party just before the big day!

Of course, I know I’m not going to be able to be present for the moment one finds her dress, or possibly even for showers or other key events, but I will be standing beside my best friend on her wedding day. And I will do everything in my power to ensure that her day is flawless.

Plus, I’ll probably be the only one who will know how to do her bustle, so I’m kind of indispensable!

Style Me Pretty Contributor – Goli Parvinian is a bridal enthusiast and masters student living in Melbourne, Australia. Over the past few years, she has worked for bridal brands in her hometown of Chicago, New Zealand and New York City. You can typically find her in a cafe, face-timing her nieces or out on a long run.