As I write this, I’ve just dropped off my partner, Jack, at the Skybus to Melbourne Tullamarine Airport. He was here for five days, two days of which I spent working, and one afternoon I had to spend in class. It was one of the quickest, most packed trips we’ve done. I recently counted, and this was our seventh goodbye.
Since we met in New Zealand in 2015, I’ve lived in NYC and Melbourne, while he’s stayed in Auckland. We have traveled to four different countries together, including seven different cities. One of the reasons I moved to Melbourne was so I could pursue a Masters’ degree closer to him. I like to think this is the definition of ‘love knows no bounds’.
The Biggest Questions:
Whenever I explain our situation to others, I get a few responses:
“That must be SO hard!”
Honestly, it was never really that difficult, the hard part comes when you miss them.
“That’s amazing, I could never do long distance!”
Sure you could! You’d be amazed what love can encourage you to do!
“I get it, my significant other lives two hours away and it’s so tough”
(Cue my suppressed eye roll). Definitely, everyone at some point has probably experienced some semblance of a long-distance relationship. Being away from the one you love is hard.
“How do you DO that?”
Strangely enough, I’ve never questioned why he and I have stayed in our long-distance relationship.
It’s been so long at this point that it nearly feels normal. We fall into our routine whenever we’re together and now we even have a routine when we’re in separate countries, time zones and even days. For context: New Zealand is 17 hours ahead of New York, and just an easy 20-hour flight.
Why We Started Long Distance
When Jack and I first started dating while I was interning in New Zealand, we knew that I would have to leave eventually (visa’s run out, new jobs in NYC are offered). It never occurred to us not to pursue a long-distance relationship. We both had the mentality that we should give it a shot as long as we’re still happy and in love, and realistically, when that runs out in any relationship, no matter the distance, it should end.
Why We Still Live Apart
At this point, we both have big goals we’re working on in our respective cities and as much as we want to be together, we’re not about to put our dreams on hold just yet. The way I see it is this: we have the rest of our lives to be in the same place, but at the moment, we’re making it happen in two different countries, and we will be better for each other because of it.
Normal Couple Goals
We have to work a bit harder to meet typical relationship milestones but we’ve met them just as other couples have. We’ve both met the parents, we’ve traveled together, cared for each other in sickness, and argued over what to watch on Netflix. The things we miss are the day-to-day aspects of relationships that most couples take for granted. So next time your significant other picks you up from work, hug them a bit tighter.
So, my answer to most when they ask why I bother with long distance is this: I would rather be with him in any capacity, in any spot on the globe, than to not be with him at all.
Oh, and to all those who like to say that long distance never works? It only never works if you’re lazy. It’s 2017, if you can’t find time to Face-Time for ten minutes or shoot a quick text, I don’t think the distance is to blame!
Style Me Pretty Contributor – Goli Parvinian is a bridal enthusiast and masters student living in Melbourne, Australia. Over the past few years, she has worked for bridal brands in her hometown of Chicago, New Zealand and New York City. You can typically find her in a cafe, face-timing her nieces or out on a long run.