Ready to plan for your future? Premarital counseling is as important to planning your wedding as setting the date! If you’re having a religious ceremony, you might already be registered for faith-based counseling through your place of worship. Your wedding planner, friends, or insurance company are other great resources for counselor recommendations.
Let’s talk about how to make the most of your sessions.
Accept the Challenge
It’s not going to be easy, but nothing worth having ever is. Accept that some sessions are going to be more challenging and be ready to rise to the occasion. You’ll talk through fun topics in your sessions – like how you met and where you want to vacation someday. You’ll also tackle some tough topics – like intimacy and budgets. When you and your fiancé are on the same team, you’ll leave each conversation feeling more prepared to walk down the aisle.
Okay, so you’re not perfect. Nobody is! Keep that in mind as you’re talking through what’s not working in your relationship. With the help of a professional, you’ll be able to identify ways to better meet your partner’s specific needs. Maybe your fiancé will finally learn not to leave his dirty towels on the bathroom floor. And – with that – you’re one step closer to perfection.
Keep it Private
Trust is key to improving any relationship. Whatever you discuss in that room stays between you, your fiancé, and your counselor (or pastor, or priest). Don’t talk about it with your mom, your bridesmaids, or anyone else, for that matter. Absolutely do not post about it on social media. Counseling should be a safe place to communicate your dreams – and your vulnerabilities. It’s you two against in the world in there, just like in marriage.
Encourage Each Other
Remember, you’re here because you love each other! Share all the things your fiancé does well, your favorite parts of the relationship, and all the goals you’re working on together. Thank him for making the time to attend counseling together. If you know talking about intimacy is hard for him, reach over and hold his hand during the appointment. Counseling sessions can be a sweet time to build each other up and connect on a deeper level. At the end of the day, it’s a great sign that you’re both making your future a priority.
Premarital counseling gives you tools to communicate and resolve conflicts in your marriage. Don’t let them get rusty! Keep asking questions to make sure each of you is feeling happy and loved. Set aside time to chat about the goals you set for life together. How’s the budget going? When do you want to start a family? What do you want your children to learn from your relationship?
Not quite ready for counseling? Grab a book or search online for “questions to ask before you get married.” (Here’s an example.) Take turns asking questions on date night or a road trip!
Pre-marriage counseling is a wonderful way to highlight the strengths in your relationship. Asking the right questions can help you learn things about your fiancé you never knew before. It will also help you understand how he thinks—a valuable skill, since you’re planning to spend the rest of your lives together!
Style Me Pretty Contributor – Madeline Littrell is a corporate PR strategist and freelance writer. Born and raised in the South, she loves big hair, country music, and chicken fingers. You can find her in Dallas with her Sheltie puppy, Tennessee.