From Desiree Hartsock... Love is big. It’s a deep, bottomless feeling that keeps on expanding. It starts with just the two of you and before you know it, it’s grown to include a dog, a home, a life. Then, you add in the sweet elation of an engagement and a wedding date and you open yourself up to a whole caboodle of emotions. Yes, most of them are amazing — you feel giddy one moment and then just so deeply grateful the next. But you might also feel a little overwhelmed or stressed. And I totally understand. As my love story played out on a national stage, I felt pressure to design the perfect wedding. Today I'm sharing some insight on how I maintained my perspective and kept those wedding fears at bay.
Fear #1: You’re afraid you won’t have the most stylish wedding.
We live in a digital age of perfection, where the prettiest weddings (hello, beautiful sites like Style Me Pretty!) are viewable with just a few clicks on our computers or phones. It’s easy to feel like you and your wedding won’t measure up. But here’s a secret: I’ve worked with plenty of brides who seemed to “have it all”: a gorgeous figure, a huge wedding budget, a supportive fiancé, yet every one of them had insecurities about their wedding.
The truth is, there is no “perfect” wedding because the world isn’t perfect. That’s where grace comes in to say, “you don’t need to be perfect, dear bride.” So try to set those fears of inferiority aside. Focus on what you do have and how you can create a special event that celebrates love.
Fear 2: You’re afraid something will go majorly wrong at your wedding.
Oh, wedding stress dreams! Have you had them? Suddenly your eight hours of blissful dark are interrupted by nightmares that you’ve lost your wedding gown or you’re at the alter and can’t say your vows no matter how hard you try. Since you’ve probably never planned something as big or as personal as a wedding, it’s easy to fixate on the disaster possibilities.
Here’s the thing - it IS possible that something will go wrong, but it’s unlikely that everything will go wrong. And the good news? You’ll be surrounded by amazing professionals who are fairy godmothers when it comes to fixing wedding mishaps. In fact, they’ve probably seen and experienced most common bridal day issues firsthand and know how to fix them.
Leave the fixing to them, sip a mimosa in the bridal suite, and focus on all the beautiful things that are going right - like your exquisite bouquet or the weather being unexpectedly lovely. And, even if something goes disastrously wrong, try to embrace it. Later on, it’ll be woven into the fabric of your wedding day story and will bring laughter for years to come.
Fear #3: You’re afraid your relationship will change after the wedding.
Your relationship will change once you’re pronounced Mr. & Mrs. But it will grow deeper, sweeter, and infinitely more powerful. Sure, you may need some time to adjust to the change - especially if you are moving in for the first time or transitioning to a new home. All change takes time but know that the happily ever you always wanted is waiting on the other side. And trust that the one you said ‘yes’ to will be worthy of all your yeses, from now to the side-by-side porch rockers in 70 years.
At the end of the day, weddings are stressful. If you have a bridezilla moment or let yourself get overwhelmed, it’s okay! Just take some deep breaths and refocus on the love and support you have in your life. Time flies by so quickly so try to enjoy this chapter of life in all its highs and lows—and let it set the framework for all the wondrous, messy, painful and painfully beautiful chapters that are yet to come. Happy wedding planning!