We have such a special little treat for all the brides out there this pretty Monday morning. With wedding season in full swing, we know planning is top of mind for many of you right now – and in the world of weddings, timing is key. How in the world can you figure out the do’s and don’ts of pulling all the pretty little details together of your special day and make the timing work? Well have no fear, our friends Robert and Kathleen of Robert & Kathleen Photographers swooped in to save the day and sent over their top ten timing tips for making your big day flow beautifully while allowing you to actually have time to enjoy your guests. Imagine that! So get out your bookmarks, because this post is a keeper for sure – without further adieu here are “The 10 Common Day Wedding Day Timing Mistakes” from Robert & Kathleen Photographers!
1. Not Scheduling Enough Time for Hair & Make-Up
When your hair and make-up team tell you what time they’ll need to start hair and make-up on the morning of your wedding, you’ll probably think they’re crazy. But you should trust them when they tell you how much time they will need. Believe us, you would much rather have too much time with them then not enough. In order to relieve some of that wedding morning stress, have the hair and make-up team come to your house or hotel room the morning of the wedding if possible. It takes away the stress of traveling to or from the salon and allows your bridesmaids to immediately get into their dresses when their hair/make-up is done if need be.
Your first instinct is to think you should go last with hair and make-up. Ignore this instinct. Your hair and make-up might take the longest and, let’s be honest, it’s the most important. So be sure to go first or second (especially if you have a large bridal party).Don’t worry, the hair and make-up team will stick around to do finishing touches before you leave the salon or after you put dress on if they’re at your hotel. Plus, going first gives you the opportunity to actually drink that mimosa and relax with your girls instead of stressing about whether or not there is enough time to do your up-do. Also, be sure to tell all of your bridesmaids exactly how much their hair and make-up will cost. You’d be surprised how much time can be wasted with bridesmaids scrambling around looking for extra cash or their checkbooks. More than likely, they’re expecting to pay for this themselves, just be up front with them and you’ll definitely save yourself time and stress.
2. Attending Your Final Dress Fitting Alone
This may seem like a small detail, but you’d be surprised how much time it can take to get you into your dress. Dresses can be complicated – buttons, lace-up backs – and your mom and/or bridesmaids will probably need some insight from your seamstress about how exactly to get you into it. If you go by yourself (or with someone who will not be there on the morning of your wedding day), even if you try to take notes and remember exactly what you were told at the shop, it’s still going to be difficult to explain. So, bring along your mother, your sister, your maid of honor, all your girls if you want to. Make sure they know not only how to get you into your dress but also how to bustle it if there is a train. And, if your dress has buttons all the way down, head over to the craft store and get a crochet hook to help with those notoriously small button holes that can be a challenge for newly-manicured fingers to button alone.
3. Not Having Everyone Get Dressed Early Enough
When should your bridesmaids get dressed? Before you do. What about your mother and father? Same answer. Ideally, about half an hour before you do. Why? So that when they are gathered around while you’re getting your dress buttoned/zippered, they’re not in their jeans and tank tops in pictures. So that when you father sees you for the first time in your dress the photographer can capture Dad’s reaction while he’s looking his best. And, most importantly, so that once your ready everyone else is too and you can jump right into picture time.
4. Too Much Distance
Too much time between where you want to get ready and the ceremony location:
You have probably dreamed of getting ready for your wedding in childhood bedroom since you were a little girl. Most of the time, this is totally possible since the church or ceremony location is close to your parent’s house. But if it’s a long distance (an hour or more), it’s not always worth the time and stress to travel on the morning of your wedding day. Between traffic and the added time and expense to transport you and your girls, you’ll probably be wishing you had decided to get ready at a hotel by the church. Save yourself the stress, get ready in a place near the ceremony.
Too much distance between the ceremony location and the reception location:
This stresses everyone out – you as the couple, the guests and your vendors. There’s no doubt that you have found the most beautiful places for both of the events of your day, but do your best to make sure they are not over an hour’s drive away from one another. This is especially true if it’s important to you to have your guests attend both the ceremony and the reception since many will opt out of the ceremony if there’s such a long drive in between. Even for those who do attend both, the distance can really bring down everyone’s energy level and make the day seem too long.
5. Not Planning Out Time for Family Pictures
Family pictures are important. Your wedding day is probably one of the few times in your life that you will have this particular group of family all in the same place at the same time. You definitely want to get photos of them all together. That being said, as you probably know from many family parties, gathering everyone together can be a challenge if it’s not planned out. So, how do you avoid the chaos? First, decide how large you want the groups to be (just immediate family? aunts and uncles? all of the cousins?) Then, let them all know ahead of time (at the rehearsal dinner or the week before the wedding) when and where the family photos will be taken. We recommend scheduling this immediately following the ceremony if you’re not doing a “First Look” and about an hour before the ceremony begins if you are. This way, family members look their best (pre-partying) and it saves the trouble of having to round all your family members up once the reception begins, which can be a difficult task. Lastly, select a few close family members (preferably ones that don’t also happen to be in the wedding party), to help round up the family on the day so that you don’t have to. Also, if you have a particularly large or diverse family, don’t be afraid to make a list and give it to us. That way we can even rattle off the names of the family members you would like in the picture to make sure they are all there, know all the groupings you would like and make sure that you don’t forget that important picture you wanted with your godmother.
6. Cutting it Too Close with the Limos
Limos can be expensive, especially when you’re probably paying by the hour. So your instinct might be try to cut back and avoid paying an extra hour, praying that it will work out. How ever much you may think you’re going to save by cutting it close, it’s not worth it. You don’t want to be in the back of your limo starring at the clock and wondering if you’re going to have to find cash to give the limo driver if you end up going ten minutes over time.
7. Not Scheduling Time to Mingle With Your Guests
It’s a scenario we have seen far too often at weddings we have attended as guests ourselves: a bride starring longingly at the dance floor knowing she won’t have much time for dancing because she has to go table-to-table and talk to her guests all night long. This is almost always because she didn’t schedule enough time to greet her guests earlier in the day, by doing a receiving line and/or join her guests for cocktail hour. Instead, her first chance to talk with her guests is during dinner or once the dance floor opens up, leaving her with little to no time to get out and dance with her new husband beyond the first dance. Of course, you want to see your guests and thank them for coming to celebrate with you but if you make sure that the reception is not the first time they get to talk to you, you’ll save yourself the frustration of hearing your favorite song and not getting to show off your moves on the dance floor.
8. Too Little Time Between the Ceremony and the Reception
This is probably the biggest and, unfortunately, most common mistake brides and grooms make. We know what you’re probably thinking, “I can’t do that to my guests! What are they going to do during that three hours between?” Two things: first, you’re probably overestimating how much time is between. The average ceremony is about an hour long and if you’re doing a receiving line*, that usually takes up at least another 20-30 minutes. Then you factor in the time it takes to travel, whether or not your guests have to check in to a hotel, etc. and you’d probably be surprised that the amount of time they’ll have in between is probably far less than you originally thought. Secondly, most guests don’t really mind. If they have attended a lot of weddings in the last few years, they’ve probably gotten used to having time to kill. Plus, a lot of the women will use this chance to wear something less dressy for the ceremony and then glam up a bit for the reception. Most importantly, having ample time between gives you the opportunity to get tons of pictures and even select an additional location (besides the church or reception venue) to go for pictures if you would like. It’s a great way to have fun with your wedding party and even have some quiet moments for just the two of you before the party gets started.
* A small side-note about receiving lines. We know a lot of photographers are against them. We’re actually not. They can be a great way for you to get to greet your guests and give them a chance to congratulate and hug you (leaving you with more time to dance at the reception rather than having to spend so much time at each table of guests.) So then why are they sore spot for photographers? Because they make our jobs incredibly difficult when there isn’t enough time scheduled for taking pictures. When a bride and groom have only scheduled an hour between the ceremony and reception and the receiving line has taken up 30 minutes of that time, the photographer is still expected to create just as many amazing pictures, but now in half the time. So if you want to do one, go for it. Just make sure you have plenty of time between to ensure that you won’t have to be rushed, and neither will your photographer. And if you don’t want to do one, that’s fine too. Just be sure to include a note in your ceremony program or have your officiant announce it. Otherwise your guests will be waiting outside the church for you and end up stopping you to chat anyway.
9. Not Doing a “First Look”
They’re become more popular, but there are still a lot of couples that shy away from seeing one another before the ceremony. We totally understand your apprehension. You’re thinking that if you see one another before the ceremony it will be less emotional when you walk down the aisle. Not true. A lot of our couples have done ”First Looks” and we can say with complete certainty that we have never seen the couple less emotional when they see each other walking down the aisle. It’s usually exactly the opposite. When they see each other during the “First Look” it’s usually teary-eyed about how amazing they both look, how amazed they are that the day has finally arrived. Then when they see each other during the ceremony, the tears start to flow, each of them realizing that the walk down the aisle means that this is all actually happening: they are about to be married. How could you not get emotional?
“First Looks” should especially be considered if you’re in any of the following situations:
Your Ceremony and Reception are at the Same Location
Why? Because you have probably picked a gorgeous location that is perfect for both events of your day and you want to be able actually enjoy the grounds as much as your guests, soaking in the views while you stroll around sipping champagne. When the ceremony and reception are at the same place, the end of the ceremony is inevitably going to flow directly into cocktail hour. Your guests have no where else to go and your venue is going to want to keep them entertained. The idea of leaving all of your guests right after the ceremony to head off for pictures will probably seem incredibly difficult.Even more, leaving yourself with only an hour to do all the pictures of the two of you,your family and your wedding party is WAY too tight. So, if you see each other before the ceremony you can take the majority of your pictures (possibly even all of your family and wedding party pictures) ahead of time, leaving you will plenty of time to greet your guests and actually eat some of that delicious cocktail hour food. Of course, if you want to grab a few shots directly after your ceremony you can do that too. But getting most of the pictures done beforehand is a great way to ensure that you will have that same relaxing experience as all of your guests.
You Don’t Want a Large Gap of Time Between the Ceremony and the Reception
If the idea of having two or three hours between the end of your ceremony and the start of cocktail hour is way too much for you, you don’t have to do it. But you’re probably still going to want amazing pictures and the best way to make this possible is to give your photographers the time they need to make that happen. Most photographers will say they need about an hour minimum to photograph the bride and groom and wedding party and then about 30 minutes for family photos (depending on the size of the family). If you do the first look, you can schedule all that time before your guests even arrive at the church making sure the time in between the end of the ceremony and cocktail can be much shorter, without jeopardizing any time for photos.
You’re Getting Married Before Daylight Savings Begins or After it Ends and You Want Pictures Outside
Why? One word: light. It’s the photographer’s best friend. Let’s say you’re getting married November 12, one week after daylight savings time ends. Sunset for that day is scheduled to be about 4:45pm. Your ceremony is supposed to start at 3pm and end at 4pm. That leaves you with about 45 minutes of daylight for pictures, assuming you don’t do a receiving line and jump right into taking pictures the minute the ceremony ends. Again, WAY too tight. If you do a “First Look,” you can select a location for your pictures, gather together your wedding party (and even family if you would like) and ensure that your Fall wedding still has plenty of pictures with the foliage even if the sun sets a bit earlier than it did a few weeks before.
10. Failing to Give Yourself a “Cushion”
Ask just about any of your married friends or wedding vendors and they’ll almost all agree that weddings hardly ever start on time no matter how well you plan. Believe it or not, that doesn’t have to be the end of the world. Not if you make sure to have some extra time scheduled throughout your day. By padding your schedule a bit you won’t have to stress if your ceremony starts ten minutes late or if your priest’s homily goes on way longer than you anticipated. You won’t have to cut short a conversation with your favorite cousin because you have to jump in the limo you only have for twenty more minutes.
This is your wedding day, a day you only get to live once and you definitely want to savor each and every moment. So why not schedule time to ensure that you will have extra moments? Time when you can just sit back, relax and soak it all in. We even suggest that couples set aside some time for just the two of you, time to just enjoy officially being husband and wife. Believe us, you’ll be very glad that you did.
A big thank you to Robert & Kathleen Photographers for offering these fabulous tips of the trade! Of course, we want to know what you think too – feel free to leave questions, opinions or additional suggestions in the comments below! Married folks out there, what worked for you? Here are a couple of our favorite tips shared by our twitter followers and Facebook fans today:
- @jolene madison said the Bride and Groom should add some time in the day for them to spend alone, just the two of them. I happen to think that is a fabulous (and important) idea!
- Qiana of Wedding Blush suggested having a list of at least five backdrops you know you want in your pictures prior to the wedding. We are big fans of having a game plan going into the big day so we couldn’t agree more!
Keep the suggestions coming! We would love to hear from all of you!
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Such great advice! I'm especially glad to hear about how well the First Look functions. I think my mom was a little surprised that we plan on having one (like it'll destroy the "walking down the aisle moment" or something). But obviously it just adds to the emotion of the day and means you can get more pictures in before the ceremony.
Definitely bookmarked this page! Great tips - love the insight from such talented photographers!
This is such great advice -- in my opinion, timing is one of the things that is most important in a successful wedding day. This will help VERY much in the creation of my timeline. Thank you for sharing!
Fantstic looking day with some killer images. This wedding looks fab!!
When it comes to our wedding planning, the only dispute my fiance and I have had is about "The First Look." Our ceremony begins at 6pm (church with full mass) and our cocktail hour begins at 7pm. I feel like we won't have enough time with our photographer if we don't have "The First Look," but he wants to wait to see me for the first time as I walk down the aisle. I understand and appreciate his reasoning, but at the same time, I hate being rushed. Has anyone else been in this situation or can offer any advice on how to convince my fiance that "The First Look" is the way to go? Thank You!
These are wonderful tips that every bride-to-be should read. We could not agree more! - Allison
Number 9 is SO true! It doesn't take away that moment at all: it enhances it!
Great tips! Robert and Kathleen - fabulous ideas as always!
Thank you SO much for these tips. This means a lot to me, since we won't have family to look to for any advice, and we've got a "blank slate" with which to work. Huge thank you!!!!
Terrific advice Robert & Kathleen!
This was great!!
I couldn't agree more about how great a first look is. Helena, my timing was similar to yours and we did a first look largely so we could enjoy the cocktail hour, mingle with friends and family, and have something to eat (!). But it ended up being really valuable beyond that. My favorite pictures from the day are the first look shots, because there is something sweet and intimate about that moment that you don't get in a church. Also, my day was super calm and relaxed, but the one moment that felt overwhelming was when those church doors opened and everyone turned to look at me. It felt more like my husband and I were in it together because we had been able to spend some time together beforehand.
Depending on your fiance's personality, my suggestions would be to remind him (1) that you are paying for the cocktail hour and should get to partake (if you guys are paying for your own wedding), (2) that the photos will be more painless if you do a whole bunch before the ceremony, (3) that he'll have some time to relax with his buddies during cocktail hour and not have to be as "on," and (4) that a professional photographer can DEFINITELY help make the first look moment special and private - if he's concerned that seeing you beforehand somehow ruins it for him, this is a biggie. Photographers can be so helpful here - mine definitely was! He found us a beautiful and private place to see each other, there was no one else there, and he really helped to create a "moment." The pictures (and my nerves later on) really reflected that. Maybe have a quick conversation with your photographer and have him scout a great location now that he can then suggest to your fiance. Good luck!
Great tips and advice, I'll be sure to share with all my couples!
Agree with the part about setting up enough time for family photos. many times people have to rush it and don't get the pics they want