Sometimes, people seem to think that the bride plans the entire wedding and all the groom has to do is show up on the wedding day on time and in his suit rental. But while many brides may helm their wedding plans, I think it's best when you work together to create a day that expresses yourselves as a couple. Here’s how to get your groom involved so he feels valued and you don’t go crazy!
Ask for his opinion
A groom may be hands-off because he simply thinks the bride wants him to be. Communicate clearly with your guy and tell him that you would love for him to be part of the crazy, fun, exciting, stressful journey that is wedding planning. After all, you do everything else together—why would this be any different? An easy way to ease him into wedding planning to ask his opinion on two different options, like chicken or beef. If you’re anything like me and sometimes have difficulty making decisions, his ability to “pull the trigger” on ivory versus candlelight will be a godsend!
Give him a task
Think of a wedding related to-do that suits your groom’s skillset. If he loves graphic design, maybe he can create a one-of-a-kind program. If he enjoys music, put him in charge of the reception playlist. If he excels at details and spatial reasoning, hand over that seating chart. We all excel at different things and that’s the beauty of being in a relationship: your strengths and weaknesses complement each other and together you are stronger.
Ask for his ideas
For all you know, there is a wedding planner lying dormant in your groom, just waiting to be activated! Okay, even if there isn’t, it’s important to make your partner feel valued, especially if you want them to be involved. And he may have some great ideas! When you’re getting started on wedding planning, ask him to explain what an ideal wedding day means to him. Of course, you may not implement his baseball and hot dog theme idea, but maybe you’ll get some unexpected, fun inspiration, like using baseball themed props from his favorite team in the photo booth.
Do the couple’s activities
Registering for gifts. Taste-testing the cake. Meeting with your caterer to figure out a custom cocktail. Look at these things as an excuse to spend time together! Sure, you might get them done faster if you do them on your own, but where’s the joy in that? These activities are great excuses to go on a “date” with your guy while getting wedding-related tasks done. Plus, you know he’ll love using that scan gun to zap products onto your registry!
Include something at the wedding or reception just for him
You’ll probably have the final word on the wedding colors and style but keep your guy involved and included in the wedding plans by incorporating something special just for him. Have him pick out a fun groom’s cake (even if it’s video game-themed) or select a cool mode of transportation for his entrance. Maybe he’d love having his groomsmen to wear superhero shirts under their suits or perhaps he’d enjoy having a cigar rolling station at the wedding. Something just for him will make him feel loved and appreciated—and excited about the wedding plans.
Let the wedding planning process draw you two together instead of driving you apart. This special day really is about you and him as a couple and the beautiful life you are planning together. Once it’s all over, you and your guy may just find that you miss the process!