Thank You Note Etiquette
It’s been a while since Lisa Hoffman of Ceci New York stopped by to share some of her always fabulous invitation wisdom. So I am thrilled to say that today she’s chatting with us about those pesky little Thank You Notes…from thank you note etiquette to thoughtful words for a thank you, she’s covering all the bases. You’ll definitely want to bookmark this post as it’s something that everyone, brides and non-brides alike, should keep handy!
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1. Think Ahead. Order your thank you notes early with your invitations. That way you are preparred as all your gifts come in.
2. Don’t procrastinate! As soon as you get your gift, remember to write your thank you note. That way your message will be sincere and of the moment. You don’t want your guests thinking you were tired of writing your notes and just quickly wrote out the same generic message to all.
3. Write in your own language. Don’t fake your way through it with over embellished words that you never use in real life. For example do not say “thank you for the fabulous blender if the word “fabulous” never typically comes out of your mouth. Be sincere and honest. Your guests will appreciate it so much more.
4. Keep track. You are going to be writing so many thank you notes over the course of your engagement it’s impossible to keep it all straight in your head. My advice is to keep separate guest lists from all your events (shower, wedding, engagement party) and document what each guest gave you at the time you receive it. If you do not instantly write them a note then chances are you will get confused with all the gifts coming in. And once you do send the note, make sure you check off a column on your list that you actually sent the note so you can remember later. (a. guest name b. gift name c. sent thank you note date) Tip – mind your manners- even if you do not receive a gift I believe it is still nice to write a personal note of thanks, thanking them for being someone special in your life and coming to your wedding to celebrate your big day. That will go a long way.
5. At a loss for words? The basic structure of a proper thank you note is as follows: -. thank the guest for the name of the gift. Make sure you state back what it was to personalize it even more. – mention how you use it (or plan to use it) in your daily life. – added bonus add a nice sentence stating that you can’t wait to have them over to share it with you and your new hubby. – if you’re sending before your wedding tell them how excited you are to be celebrating with them soon at the wedding. And if it’s after the wedding state how much it meant to you to have them at your wedding. – then sign with love
6. Timing. Etiquette states that you truthfully have up to a year after your wedding to send a thank you note (because technically guests have that much time too to send their gifts). However, as I mentioned above, I highly recommed staying on top of your thank you notes so they do not become a chore. Plus you do not want to come off ungrateful or worse have your guests inquiring if their gift made it to you OK! Chip away at your list by setting attainable goals for yourself. Maybe 10 a weekend or 5 on Monday nights. Whatever works for you. Pretty soon you will find yourself a writing pro! (and maybe you’ll even enjoy it)
7. Flat or folded? Yes there are choices when it comes to the type of thank you note you pick. The two main ones are flat cards or folded. TIP: Think about your writing style – do you write large or small. If you write big, probably best to go with a folding note card so you have more room.
However I completely encourage you all to be creative with your note writing. If you are having a destination wedding try picking up fun postcards from your chosen location. Or from your honeymoon. Another idea is to consider a different method other than paper. Send a photo postcard of you from the wedding. Take a big group photo of all yor guests and send that. It’s a great keepsake and your guests will love it!
To be inspired and view more thank you note ideas, please visit cecinewyork.com All design and artwork copyright 2009 Ceci New York, LLC.
My wedding is the Saturday after Thanksgiving, by the time we get back from our honeymoon and get Thank You's out it will be pretty much the holidays. Is it ok to combine a Holiday card and a thank you.. or should we wait until the New Year?
What do you think?
Great question. Honestly, I think it's perfectly fine to do both. In fact, I've done it before for my clients as a special holiday wedding card. If you can get your pictures back in time, you can have a card made with your favorite wedding photo and have your message be Happy Holidays & Thank You. Kill two birds with one stone. Your friends and family will love seeing your wedding pictures so soon! Hope that helps. - Ceci
Thank you! That is perfect!
Lisa, thank you so much for all this great information. We are getting married at the end of this month and have recently begun receiving gifts in the mail. I didn't know if I should wait to send all my Thank Yous together after the honeymoon or start writing and sending now, and now i know!
Hi Alison, I'm so glad I could help. It's so much easier on you to write them as soon as you open the gifts. Gets it out of the way too. That way when you come back from your honeymoon you can just enjoy being married with your new husband! - Ceci
At one point should we thank people for coming if they haven't sent a gift (yet)?
Thanks!
Lisa, thanks so much for all the great advice! It's definitely one of those areas where it helps to have an organized, solid plan to make sure you send them out in a timely fashion. High five Abby for such a great topic, thank you, thank you, thank you!!
My cousin photographed our wedding and so we had access to the photos sooner than most. I took three different photos and had folded thank you notes made with the pictures (glossy finish) right after the wedding. I think our guests really appreciated seeing photos from the event - it made them relive just a bit of it. Plus I like to think maybe they kept our card around with our photo.
Hi Liz, to answer your question, the timing is up to you. But from my experience, typically the most presents are sent right around or before the wedding. So I think it's safe to say that you can thank them when you get back from your honeymoon when you're still in the "bliss" of it all. I know the longer you wait after your wedding, the sincerity of your thank you note wouldn't seem as authentic. Plus, maybe it might work in your favor and remind them to send you something if they perhaps forgot! You never know... Hope that helps. - Ceci
You addressed this to some extent, but I'm still unsure about the flat versus folded thank you note. Will one be viewed as more proper or formal? I've never seen, received or sent a flat thank you note. But, now that I'm looking, my favorite invitation only has a flat thank you note to match. Do most people view the flat cards as equally proper and thankful?