Ask Abby
To Veil or Not To Veil…I get this question a lot from readers, so I thought I would weigh in and see what you guys thought!
Question 3: I am wearing a vintage style dress (Pronovias design Castor which you can see on their site) with the high necked jacket and the low v back. I have shoulder-blade length straight hair and had originally planned to wear it in a low bun at the nape of my neck with a large ivory silk flower to one side as the allegra one illustrated here.
However, I’m starting to think that I won’t be a ‘bride’ without a veil… My Mum says that as I’m getting married in a barn in a cocktail dress, it’s not necessary, and it will detract from the dress, but I’m not sure.
Can you or your readers suggest a solution? Do any readers have anecdotes about wishing they had worn a veil or deciding not to and feeling ok about it? I thought a little 1950s blusher might be a solution but fear that with the high collar, it will all be a bit busy around my face…
What do you guys think? Any tips for this bride-to-be?
I thik a blusher would be perfect with this look, but maybe only for the ceremony itself. I saw some absolutly beautiful hair flowers with blushers on etsy when i was searching "veils" and "bridal" the other day. The flowers were very similar to the ones on your link.
How about a feather fascinator like this one? You'd still have a headpiece, but since it's vertical, the look wouldn't be too busy.
http://www.bd-i.co.uk/Feather%2BFascinators_display_225_2.php " rel="nofollow">http://www.bd-i.co.uk/Feather%2BFascinators_display_225_2.php
I adore the look from Jennifer Behr. I think that this look alone would be stunning and perfect for your setting. However, if you are interested in going the veil route, there was a picture on the David's Bridal website of a lovely look with flowers at the nape of the neck and a pretty, simple veil. Just be careful, like you said, not to overdo it.
I bought a veil but wasn't for sure if I would wear it. When I got my hair done the morning of my wedding, I realized I didn't like the way it looked with my dress and hair. I felt just as much a bride with no veil, and I was more comfortable. I really think the Jennifer Behr flower is the way to go.
You don't have to have a veil to be bridal. But if you feel a veil is what really finishes the "bride" versus pretty white dress, then by all means - Veil! A short blusher could be nice, but it would need to be very simple so as not to clutter your face. I would actually go with a very simple (no fancy edging) single layer (so as not to cover that beautiful back-line) fingertip length veil for the ceremony only. No one should fault you for adding a veil to you wedding ensemble! After the ceremony, I would ditch the veil and have a flower or other hair ornament added to the beautiful bun - ala J Behr.
I truely believe it is a matter of what feels right for you. Your dress is beautiful and definitely "weddingy" so I think you will feel like a bride if you opt not to wear a veil. Perhaps you could go back to the store and try your dress on again with and without a veil (long and short). It has to be what you are most comfortable in.
I also wore my hair in a low chignon with a beautiful white flower in my hair. I knew I wanted to keep it in all day (veil or no veil for ceremony) but I wanted the romance of having something draped over my face.
I always thought blushers were so lovely and vintage, but didn't want to "overdo" on details. I bought a simple, custom one from Melody of birdcageveils.com (she even customized and rushed it in under two weeks!) that was perfect for me. I wore it over my face for pictures and pre-ceremony and then flipped it to the back during the ceremony. It added a little more shape and drama. Good luck making a decision!
I think that adding a veil will be a little overwhelming for the look you are trying to go for. I absolutely adore the dress and flower, but adding even a short veil will be too much. I thought that wearing a veil would really make me feel like a bride, but I still felt like one! Go with what your heart tells you, because you are the one that will be looking at the photos for the rest of your life...
I had the same dilemma! My dress also has a lace jacket with a high neck and cap sleeves and I found that veils seemed overwhelming with my outfit. I ended up choosing a 9 inch birdcage veil with a feather flower fascinator. Because I opted for the 9 inch veil instead of the traditional 18 inches it just sweeps to the side of my forehead and doesn’t overwhelm my face. I think the birdcage veil will really compliment the vintage style of your dress and complete the look.
I think it's more about the way you feel than what is proper. You would be just as much a bride without a veil as you would with one. I do, however, understand what you mean. I am getting married and I personally need a veil to feel like a real bride. It's what I pictured and it's what *I* want. So I am going to wear one. My dress will probably be tea length. I adore birdcage veils. Unfortunately my fiancee looked over at my screen, saw a picture of one and made it clear he didn't like it. Sigh. So I will probably have a birdcage for some pics - just for my scrapbooking, and wear a simple non-poofy veil down the back of my head. Do what makes you feel beautiful... look at pics of brides and decide what *you* want. :) Good luck!
Ultimately, you need to do what makes you happy! However, I certainly don't feel that a bride isn't a bride without a veil. Have you considered wearing a cage veil only? It will give you the comfort of knowing you're wearing a veil, but will not detract from the hairstyle.
All I wanted to add was that I think your dress is GORGEOUS! I have been looking everywhere for a dress that's got a little 50's influence, and that one (along with the others from the same line) are just perfect! Thank you!
If you decide you don't want a veil, you could try sweeping your low bun slightly to the side and pinning it with a vintage hair comb. It could as large or small as you think acceptable and could be paired with flowers. With a simple silver and diamond half-moon piece from example, you could light up your face as a veil would do but with sweet, subtle vintage flair.
This link shows a picture of something like what I mean though I was imagining a more tailored look.
http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/menuitem.3a0656639de62ad593598e10d373a0a0/?vgnextoid=c97f6cfaff6b3110VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD&vgnextfmt=default " rel="nofollow">http://www.marthastewart.com/portal/site/mslo/menuitem.3a0656639de62ad593598e10d373a0a0/?vgnextoid=c97f6cfaff6b3110VgnVCM1000003d370a0aRCRD&vgnextfmt=default />
I was married outdoors in a garden...my dress was long but didn't have a train - just a nice simple wedding dress. I didn't wear a veil and I'm so happy I didn't! A veil didn't/doesn't fit my style and was happy that I didn't get pressured into something I didn't want. Good luck!
A blusher would be nice... or you could wear a birdcage veil. It would go great with the vintage dress!
You could do something similar to Reese Witherspoon on Sweet Home Alabama, it is simple, beautiful, stylish but wouldn't take away from you or the dress.
A birdcage veil is a contemporary take on the veil/blusher.
And it adds that bit of panache without being over the top.
That, or flowers pinned to the side of your head or a gorgeous hairpiece. Some sort of embellishment up top will add to the overall look!
I love your dress, it's perfect and very "Hepburn".. I think it's very clean and speaks for itself and the original choice of hair is perfect.
Wow, your dress is a STUNNER! And your planned hairstyle sounds just beautiful with that flower.
So, no, there's no reason you have to have a veil. But I was definitely one of those brides who felt like "a REAL bride" the second my veil went on! One option is to split the difference -- get something inexpensive for the ceremony, and remove it before the reception. My own veil was only $35 (after shipping) on eBay, and it was everything I needed. Photos and link to the eBay store here, if you're interested:
http://twowishes.typepad.com/two_wishes/2008/05/do-clothes-make.html " rel="nofollow">http://twowishes.typepad.com/two_wishes/2008/05/do-clothes-make.html />
I LOVE your dress, you have any intentions of selling it, i'd be very interested if you were...