Style Me Pretty

Dear Abby

January 25th. 2008 by Abby Larson | Filed Under | 10 comments

Another reader question for you guys to tackle!!

Q. I am wanting to have a 1940s wedding theme. I am having my reception at an unconventional place because of budget, and I plan on hiring a wedding planner to help with converting this place that will place people in that time.

First things first, I am planning a wedding for 2009, no rush. I like the 40s swing era, because I love dancing and it is so fun to swing dance, even if you are not a pro. I am very flexible on the color palate, although I love pink and my fiance’s favorite color is black. I am not planning a detailed “everything must be 1940s” look. I just want the general feel. I am extending an invitation for my guests to dress in the 1940s era. Overall, I am looking for a classy style that is elegant, romantic, relaxed, and most of all… looks expensive, but isn’t. I am a bargain girl at heart.

Can any of you offer this reader ideas as to how she can infuse a 40′s vibe, without going over the top?

A. What a great idea! I love bringing a vintage chic feel into a wedding…it just seems so appropriate. Glamor, fun, dancing. And, I LOVE the idea of using plumes and feathers to decorate rather than flowers. I also like the idea of scattering crystals around the tables, or stringing crystal beads and kind of “draping” them around the centerpieces. Another centerpiece idea would be to buy some inexpensive mirrors, then place 6 or 7 candles of varying height in the center.

There is a restaurant in San Francisco called Foreign Cinema, that plays old movies on a white washed wall, while diners eat oh-so-elegant food. It’s a lovely concept and it might be a wonderful, unexpected touch to this wedding…rent an old projector, then play black and whites from the era like Casablanca (silently of course), while a swing band keeps everyone dancing.

Serve champagne in champagne saucers, rather than flutes (spend money on champagne, rather than an open bar…one specialty drink is a great way to cut costs). For my own wedding, my mother and I scoured ebay, flea markets and antique shops and ended up with 200 crystal champagne saucers. It was SUCH a lovely touch to the wedding and really brought that element of glamor to the night.

Seems like you have a great start! I can’t wait to hear how everything turns out…please keep us posted!

10 Comments about “Dear Abby”

Wendy says:

January 25, 2008 at 10:27 am

Buffet or serving displays that have the 40's theme would work nice. Favors or the packaging of your favors that reflect the period would be nice as well. Also, if you are considering entertaining your guests, why not hire some swing dancers to perform? Here's a link to some 40's facts to get your creative juices going!
http://www.surround-sounds.co.uk/1940_theme.htm " rel="nofollow">http://www.surround-sounds.co.uk/1940_theme.htm >

Krista says:

January 25, 2008 at 10:31 am

Oh, I'm a bargain girl, too! This is the perfect budget wedding. I think it would be grand to recreate a swing club, perhaps. This is what I found: "When I'm designing around a retro, Ella Fitzgerald, Count Basie type of thing, I'd never suggest color," says Richardson-Hall. "This is all about the absence and presence of light. I'd blend in metallics, though. And if the client really felt a color, I'd bring in red roses, for a very, very classic look. My ultimate black and white wedding re-creates the 40s, and not just the look, but the feel. I'd be thinking timeless elegance: elegant women in hats, gloves, jewels, classic pumps, cocktail dresses with the crinolines. And the men in white dinner jackets and black bow ties, like Casablanca — or in pinstripes. Even the transportation is part of it: you can show up and leave in vintage cars. As far as the bride, you probably want a classic, sleek gown cut on the bias. You want to get away from pooffy, and lean toward the sleek chignon with a gardenia in the hair — and sultry red lips."
But picking the right venue is critical, reminds Richardson-Hall. "Your average hotel ballroom won't cut it." Instead, she suggests ornate, traditional nightclubs or restaurants. "Lots of heavy molding, starched white table linens, even jeweled table lamps. Of course, you can hold a big wedding in the traditional ballroom, she says — but skip the chair covers, which disrupt the feel. Stick with the black Chiavari chairs, or gorgeous velour-back chairs. Then, bring in a 10 piece (big) band or a jazz band, a hefty dance floor, and you're well on your way.

I know this is a lot but I hope it helps!
Chic and Charming says:

January 25, 2008 at 11:03 am

My wedding was black and white with hot pink accents and had a very classic retro feeling. The groomsmen all wore their own black suits and we gave them black bowties with white polka dots to wear. The bridesmaids chose their own black dresses as well and carried a dozen pink roses, put together by our local grocery store florist..but you could easily DIY for a big flower savings. You could also just do corsages instead of bouquets for bridesmaids to keep with the theme and save even more!
We had all classic R&B/swing/big band/with some really early rock and roll played by a DJ, which was much cheaper than a band. I had concerns at first about using the DJ instead of the band given that I wanted a retro feel to the music, but it worked out perfectly. Your DJ can play the exact playlist you give him. I would highly recommend this to save money.
I skipped favors to save money (no one cared) and opted for cupcakes instead of cake (huge savings on cake and on cutting fees).
I also ordered a birdcage veil online, which I think would work really well with your theme. I got mine from unveiled bridal designs.
I did my own hair and makeup and so did my bridesmaids, I just treated them to manis and pedis before the rehearsal dinner. I went to sephora with a picture of what I wanted to look like, and they did a free makeup lesson for me. I purchased a handful of products from them and then went to the drug store the get the rest. It worked out well for us!
Good luck and don't forget to have fun :)
Danielle says:

January 25, 2008 at 11:29 am

I LOVE the 1940 swing vibe! And think that you can easily make this both elegant and budget friendly.
I suggest that the attire be white tie formal (white dinner jackets, black bottoms... very Humphrey!)
Skip the limo and rent a vintage rolls royce- generally they end up being less expensive as it only seats 2.
Flowers can KILL a budget, so opt to go with alternating centerpieces of oversized ostrich plumes/ vintage crystal containers filled with wax (instructions on Weddingbee or Perfectbound archives)... alternating these will add drama....
go light on the bar as this is another money hog- opt instead to provide a signature "vintage drink" from the 1940's....
another pit of money is in the food... go for a butler passed appetizer menu... or a simple three course dinner- keeping small portions going all night will ensure that guests are satisfied and your budget is not busted.
and if your budget can STRETCH... get a big band... if not, then go for an ipod dock full of big band tunes...
The best thing to keep in mind is that you don't want to put too much money into "transforming" the space... work with what you have and try to not focus too much on elements that need to change... and remember that the right lighting can do WONDERS
Good luck!
Mirnada says:

January 25, 2008 at 1:26 pm

I think another way to go for the '40's feel is to do a more informal swing-style wedding. Think of the guys in three piece suits with great vintage ties and wingtipped shoes, maybe a fedora or two if someone's bold enough. You could wear a fabulously swirly ballerina length gown. I agree that the birdcage veil and the red lips would be amazing. A really great, classy vintage palette (and I know this isn't what you mentioned color-wise) is a combo if rich red and a muted grey/blue/green. It's really classy and would look amazing with brown as an accent (think leather club chairs and cigars as an inspiration). You could easily put your bridesmaids in swingable dresses (JCrew has some amazing swingy halter ones right now) or find something unique at Anthropologie. I agree that if you simplify your flowers and opt for something other than a seated dinner, you'll have more resources for other things. Maybe look into classic 1940's-'50's foods and canapes? Use photos from '40's Los Angeles as inspiration, maybe. I think that having an amazing swing band could make your event unique and unforgettable.
Moni Rose says:

January 25, 2008 at 2:09 pm

I was just exploring the world of Birdcage veils with my fiance last night and you should definitely check out Stephanie James Couture - so vintage and elegant. If you want to go all out for a 'swing theme' why not go for a tea length gown? Or at least for your bridesmaids.
The "Casablanca" suggestions are great above - but you don't necessarily have to go with red and black and silver to get that classy feel; why not try black and grey and pink? giving that vintage look a soft, modern twist!
Good luck with you planning - it sounds like such an amazing theme.
oh, and if you can work it into your budget and venue, DEFINITELY hire a brass band. There is nothing in the world like the sound of a live big band, and they come w/their own tuxes - they alone will set the mood and theme!
jessamyn harris says:

January 25, 2008 at 4:13 pm

Definitely something cute with the hair (pincurls?) and dress... I loved this bride I photographed recently who had really sculpted curls, dark hair pale skin and BRIGHT red lips, and a really lovely vintage feel dress. Somehow it all seemed to scream 40s to me (without necessarily locking her into the past or a specific era).
I've also seen some really cute brides wear their hair in bobby pins - like, really obvious bobby pins to help frame their face.
Since I'm a photographer, my main advice would be to tell your photographer what you're going for - she can probably either use some old cameras and/ or effects and post processing to help enhance that vision.
And something about these bold, red lips, curls, and veil really did it for me! :) Again, something of a retro feel without a costumey look at all.

http://www.jessamynharris.com/2008/retro027cgnyc.jpg " rel="nofollow">http://www.jessamynharris.com/2008/retro027cgnyc.jpg >
http://www.jessamynharris.com/2008/retro005cgnycb.jpg " rel="nofollow">http://www.jessamynharris.com/2008/retro005cgnycb.jpg >

Melissa McClure Photography says:

January 26, 2008 at 9:59 am

If you want to encourage your guests to go along with the theme, I highly suggest creating your own website. On there, you can put together outfits/suggestions on the type of things people can wear. WedORama.com has nice websites for a good price...make sure to go through the Knot to get the discounted price!
ashley says:

January 26, 2008 at 3:23 pm

If you were to do the champagne saucers definately go to goodwill, garage sales and the like, they are inexpensive and many are cut crystal. I also saw an idea promoting recycling in a design magazine that suggested using old cut crystal footed bowls, glasses, vases etc etc then adding a wick and pouring wax into them and having them as a grouping of eclectic candles that sparkle which would be great centerpieces
Susanne says:

January 29, 2008 at 10:53 am

I got married this fall and I'm a swing dancer (5 years), so I love this theme idea.
Personally, I don't think that feathers and crystals are appropriate for a 40s theme. That sounds more 1920s to me. I would go classic with roses. It's cheap to buy roses wholesale online and easy to arrange. I did my own and got them here: http://www.freshroses.com/ " rel="nofollow">http://www.freshroses.com/ > and they were great.
And if you're a dancer, you've surely got friends who already own vintage clothes. When you do the guest list, keep an eye on the dancer/non-dancer numbers. And you can put the word out with your dancer friends to ask non-dancers to dance.
If you've got the space in your budget or the connections (probably someone in your dance community has a vintage car or knows someone who does), a late 30s or 40s era car would be so cool for transportation.
A more budget-friendly take on Abby's suggestion would be to borrow a digital projector and a laptop and play Hellzapoppin, Groovie Movie, Swing Fever, or another classic 40s movie against a wall.
Something my husband and I did at our wedding is that we had some of our swing dancer friends (who reguarly teach) teach a 30 min lesson while we had pics taken which killed two birds with one stone: kept everyone occupied and entertained while we were unavailable and gave our non-dancer guests some basic dancing skills. We heard lots of positive comments from guests about the lesson. I wouldn't pay for a performance. Just invite dancers that you like to watch dance and they'll do it for free. If you want a show, you could think about organizing a jam during the reception to give the cool cats a chance to show off their skills.
I wore a traditional dress for the ceremony (when else in life can I wear a train?) and then changed into a knee-length dress (cocktail from Nordstrom's) that I could dance in. I've seen swing brides both change and not change, but it worked for me.
The best suggestion I heard when wedding planning was to pick two things that you really care about, focus on making those as perfect as you want, and then go for "good enough" with the rest. Good Luck!