Dear Abby…
Today is Q & A day…I have received a ton of emails over the last few weeks with some really great questions that every couple seems to face. Here are a few that I thought we could tackle together. I would love to hear your thoughts and comments, then I will post my own answers later in the day. There is no right or wrong way to approach the answers…it is just great to hear from our huge variety of readers.
Question 1: I’m having a tough time coming up with a color palette for our wedding that feels right. The dilemma is that we recently had to find a new venue after learning that our old venue had been double booked. This proved really difficult, and though our new space is very nice, it wasn’t really what I had originally been envisioning. I loved our last venue, and had a palette I really loved. But, the old palette just doesn’t feel right in the new space.
The colors inside our new venue are warmer and stronger (particularly with dark green and royal purple velvet curtains in the theater).
I’d love to stick with the black and white look (possibly doing ivory or cream or something, instead of white — although I have a ton of white vintage milkglass bowls and vases I bought before we learned of the venue problem, and I fully intend to still use them for the flower arrangements at the wedding). But I’m trying to figure out what other colors I should use. I’ve started to think about a palette similar to this one, but am not 100% sold on how it will feel in the space
To give you a sense of what I like: Blue is my favorite color. I also like pinks (any shade), and greens (with a preference to either bright emerald-like greens or soft greens). I tend to not like reds, yellows, oranges and browns. I prefer silver to gold. I typically am drawn more to softer colors. I want something that feels “vintagey” (particularly something that fits with an art deco or art nouveau theme), and very timeless. I’d prefer to stay away from really trendy combinations that I’ll hate 20 years from now, when looking back at my wedding album.
Answer 1: First of all, it stinks that you had to change venues when your heart was set on the first…with that said, sometimes it works out in your favor. This new venue is SO cool. I love the different areas and honestly think that there are many different palettes that will work in here. My favorite, however is this…all different shades of cream and white (linens, flowers, etc), with your bridesmaids and groomsmen in chic black attire (along with the rest of the men). I looooove the white on white effect. It is classic and sophisticated. Bring in vintage champagne saucers, creamy flowers in white milk glass vases and perhaps even mismatched cream colored linens to create an old world effect. Tons of candles…everywhere. And outside, either japanese lanterns or panels of wispy white fabric kind of blowing in the breeze. This black and whites (note the plural) seems to really suit a somewhat vintage theater feel. If you really want to bring in a color, I suggest a soft coral, a muted jade color or a deeper aqua. I don’t think that pastels will hold their own against the jewel tones in the space. Overall though, I think that the new venue is fabulous and you have a lot to work with.
I just saw the poster that Katherine posted in the comments section…SPOT ON. I think this is perfect for this space. I wonder if you’d be able to get a bunch of these and put them on the walls to create the ambiance?
Question 2. I love your blog and would love to see something about creative ceremonies: different formats, types of readings, new things to try. I’m planning my own on 9/29 and lacking the creative juice but wanting something different. Any suggestions?
Answer 2: Like a few of the comments said, there are so many fun ways to personalize your ceremony. I had my cousin read a poem that my aunt wrote (she passed away and it was the perfect way to bring her into the ceremony), then had a close friend sing the Irish Blessing. My family is Irish so it meant a lot to the guests as well. My dear friend, Amanda, brought in a folk singer for her wedding who sang a beautiful ballad for the couple, using just a guitar as back-up…it was so touching and memorable. Perhaps your father or mother, or a close family friend, could tell a funny story about you guys, rather than doing a formal reading. Or, you can ask the minister to “insert” a cute, unexpected phrase into your vow…something like “I, (Bride/Groom), take you (Groom/Bride), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, to laugh wholeheartedly with and to respectfully disagree with; from this day forward until death do us part.” Honestly, there are so many ways. I suggest that you sit down and really think about the two of you as a couple. Let that define how you infuse personality into your ceremony.
Question 3. My fiance and I are trying to come up with cool, unique gifts for his two groomsmen. Nothing monogramed or related to golf or beer steins or anything like that…..all of the idea out there seem to be one of those things!! I told him I’d check the few wedding blogs I read for some ideas but it seems there are lots of great ideas for bridesmaids and absolutely nothing out there about groomsmen! I’m thinking I might get my bridemaids a necklace from smallthings design and maybe a few other little things from anthropologie, but we just can’t come up with anything perfect for the groomsmen. Have you heard of any good ideas, or come across any while preparing your blog?
I love the ideas that the readers posted about giving each guy a separate gift. Love, love, love the idea of giving a silk “thanks for helping us tie the knot” tie. I also love the idea of giving them something that they can really use…great tickets to a sporting event, a gift certificate to a good restaurant in their city, membership to a beer/wine of the month group, a gift certificate to an airline so that they can come visit the two of you (if they are out of state). If you do a gift certificate, presentation is key. And, make sure that the gift actually reflects the person who is receiving it…you don’t want to give Sox tickets to a Yankee fan!
Question 1: I love the space. It's contemporary and fun. What about sticking with the black and white and just adding a splash of color? Either blue or green? I recently say a wedding that was black, white and green (bright shades) and it just looked timeless and fun! (check out the new pics at http://www.philadelphia-weddingphotography.com/ )" rel="nofollow">http://www.philadelphia-weddingphotography.com/)
Questions 3: We had a lot of luck on Etsy. Two of our groomsmen love to write and we had an artist make them really beautiful leather journals and we gave them a nice writing utensil. The Best Man is a world traveler, so we got him a leather travel case and filled it with Origins products! There's no need for uniformity ... make each gift unique! It shows that you put the time in to think about each gift... that way size or cost doesn't matter!
Question 3: My hubby tried to get something for each groomsman that was personal to their friendship. For 3 of the guys, he bought them a computer game that they could all play together every few weeks (and talk with headsets to catch up) because they used to play video games in college. It has been a good way for them to keep in touch now that we have all graduated college and moved to different places, while doing something they like to do. For another, he bought season tickets to a minor league hockey team in his new city, and another got a boxed set of CDs. It helped him to think about it as something he would get them for a birthday gift, rather than something to commemorate them being in our wedding.
#1 If you like blue, go for it. I think a nice, medium blue will compliment your black/cream duo and won't compete with the dark purple and green of your venue. Maybe something like this: http://www.colourlovers.com/palette/143048/Lake #" rel="nofollow">http://www.colourlovers.com/palette/143048/Lake# />
Question 2: If you're having a nondenominational ceremony, you could choose readings from poems or literature that mean you love or that have special meaning to you. Try Shakespeare, Lawrence Ferlinghetti, etc. For our ceremony, we're trying to include people that are important to us. Have a family member or friend with a great voice? Ask them to sing a song during the ceremony. Invite your grandparent(s) to do a reading.
Question 3: I agree, it is much easier to find bridesmaid gifts than groomsmen gifts! I love the idea of choosing a gift specifically for each member of the bridal party – your gifts will be personal, thoughtful and unique. We're having the groomsmen wear suits (not tuxes) and are giving each of them a nice tie to wear during the wedding, in addition to a personal gift.
Question 2: There are so many things you can do to personalize your ceremony, add a special song during the ceremony – or walk down to something untraditional, or after you are pronounced husband and wife, kiss and then walk back to something unique, I love to play with music for a ceremony. I love adding poetry to the ceremony especially lovey cute poems, like “The Places You’ll Go” by Dr. Seuss – just part of it is fine if you don’t want the whole poem recited.
Just have fun with it, there aren’t any rules that aren’t allowed to be broken!
Question 3: I agree with Emily and Erica's ideas of not making all the gifts uniform. On the same theme, you could give them all really nice silk ties (maybe in different colors/paterns that go with their personalities) with a card saying "Thanks for helping us tie the knot!" Another thought: 12 packs of Jones sodas with a cool personal picture, maybe group photo or one with the groom?
Question 1:
It sounds like you are SOOOO close to getting it just perfect... I would embrace your new venue while incorporating your original vision... that being said- keep your overall palette black and white and creme- but bring in in the punch with flowers that feel both rich and timeless... I would suggest bringing the purple and blue in with deep plum and blueberry hues (think peonies, lisianthus, delphinium, hyancinth, lilac, dahlias, and stock)... the green will unfold organically through the foliage... turn to dutch-inspired design florals for execution...
Sarakaye.com is a great source to see how these colors work well...
Good Luck! You'll have to share the end results with us...
Question 1: Take a look at this vintage Life Magazine poster for inspiration:
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/POP/MP1701~Life-Magazine-Posters.jpg " rel="nofollow">http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/POP/MP1701~Life-Magazine-Posters.jpg
I think the colors you're talking about work well together, can work in the space you've described, and evoke the art deco feel you're going for.
Question 2: I think the ceremony gets so overshadowed in wedding magazines and blogs! Instead of just writing your vows, you could handcraft the entire ceremony from different online sources. We did this because all of the words really mattered to us, but my husband was too shy to read his own vows, and we didn't really want friends or family to participate in the actual ceremony. We also had the "Blessing of the Hands" read:
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years and, with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow and, as in today, tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children, the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And lastly, these are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still be giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
Question 3: Checkout groomstand.com or groomstop.com. I know you aren't interest in things related to golf or beer steins, which they have, but they also have tons of other things too. I'm a big fan of getting something personal for each groomsman rather than the same thing for all of them, as well as getting something they could actually use and enjoy.
Wow! this is the first time I have ever been to your site, and it is fantastic! I have been looking thru a few of the "big name" wedding sites, and yours just simply takes the blah out everyday wedding ideas. it is so refreshing and great. i do have one question for you- i have been looking everywhere for a dress with a vintage, country chic look...specifically, light, white…(here comes the hard part) with a squared/scoop chest, three or four buttons down the middle, almost like a corset top, giving it a light summery-country look. Just like the “classic white summer dress” but very delicate, whimsical, if you will:) i'm hoping to go...wild flowers..i am almost having better luck looking in the bridesmaid sections...any ideas?
i just found this!http://www.brides.com/fashion/dresses/gallery/runway/designer/verawang/detail/144575/?ff=Bride&f=Wedding+Gown+Designer%3AVera+Wang&max=Wedding+Gown+Designer&offset=13&page=2 " rel="nofollow">http://www.brides.com/fashion/dresses/gallery/runway/designer/verawang/detail/144575/?ff=Bride&f=Wedding+Gown+Designer%3AVera+Wang&max=Wedding+Gown+Designer&offset=13&page=2 > it is almost perfect, but I need a few silk buttons and thin straps, but the feel of the dress is just what I'm looking for!
Question 2: While guests were waiting for our wedding ceremony to begin, we had family and friends who were talented musicians, play some of "our songs". Two were sung, two were played on the piano and a third was played on the flute. We had people tell us afterwards that they weren't expecting some of those songs at a wedding, but it worked because they were played as instrumentals. Our guests understood the significance...that the songs were "our songs". Also,if you are having a religious ceremony and have a friend or family member that is a clergy member, ask if they will officiate or co-officiate. We were married in an orthodox church, but were able to have my husband's uncle (from a different denomination) co-officiate and bring his special touch to our wedding. Now that he is no longer with us, it is extra special that he was part of our wedding ceremony.
hi im from mexico,merida yucatan¡
I love the palette of July 12, 2007 fuschia pink, dark teal and creamy white. What is the name of the fuchsia flower in English? In my country this flower is bugambilia, it grows a lot, and i thik for save money used this flowers for my center pieces decoration, do you think they maybe get a cheap tacky wedding looks? Dou you know ideas for a bouquet decoration? where can i search this? sorry for my english¡